Going out at night
If you’re serious about pickup you need to start going out at night. That means going out to bars and clubs and other such establishments. Those types of environments are full of inebriated men with fragile egos and drunk women clamoring for attention. That’s a perfect breeding ground for conflict.
You may be talking to some girl whose boyfriend went to take a piss. He comes back and gets mad at you for talking to her. You can simply bump shoulders with someone and they may react as if you’ve tried to murder them. Some guys are going to try to boss you around. They might say “hey pal why don’t you beat it”. One time I was just walking by the bar counter and this guy jumps out of nowhere and gets in my face talking gibberish about respect. Mind you it is the first time I see this fellow in my life. His friend comes over, apologizes and pulls him away. Next thing I see that guy is in someone else’s face. He was just high on something.
I tell you this because out at night people get wasted and behave like lunatics and you should be prepared for that. Of course you can just do day game and forget about going out at night but that’s beside the point. Point is if you go out at night often enough, and you should, chances are someone is going to try to fuck with you. Question is what are you going to do about it?
To fight or not to fight?
Traditional pickup community either never talks about fighting or advises avoiding it altogether. I believe there is a huge difference between backing out of a fight because you know better and backing out because you shit your pants at the mere thought of fighting.
In the former you know you can kick ass but you choose to abstain because you don’t want to fight some drunk asshole. In the latter you know you’re going to get your ass handed to you and you avoid the fight out of fear. Having observed many pickup guys in field I can say that majority of them avoid confrontation because they are wimps. I would hear some of them say it’s bad energy to fight or they are “above” fighting. But that guy just called you a bitch and told you to jump and you did! Now that’s bad energy in my book.
Being a spineless wimp is bad energy. Taking shit from random assholes is bad energy. Having balls to stand up for yourself and tell that prick he is your bitch is what being a man is. So many guys today are men only on paper.
When it’s unavoidable you have to fight. You’re a man. When I am saying you have to fight I am not saying you have to win. Winning or losing a fight is irrelevant. Feeling like a man because you refused to take shit is what matters.
It’s just too many guys today go through life without having been in a single fist fight. Someone would argue that’s a good thing. Someone would say bar fights are dangerous. I bet that someone is a girl. If you have a pair of balls you can’t live through your twenties without getting into a fight at least once!
Don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating violence. I’m not urging you to actively look for trouble. Bar and street fights are messy. You can get your favorite shirt tore up, you can break your phone, you can get hurt. It ruins your night and the next day you have to go to work with a cut or swollen face. However, ability to kick ass when necessary is indispensable to the concept of masculinity. And the way I see it getting in touch with your masculinity is the foundation of success with women.
Trust me most bar fights are not a life risking event unless you’re incredibly feeble in which case you need to remedy that before going out. You’re more likely to be eaten by a shark than die in a bar fight. Ok, I made that one up but you get my drift.
Generally speaking, chances of getting into a bar fight are slim to none. Back in the day I used get into 2-4 fights a year. That’s nothing given how often I go out. And when I say 2-4 fights I mean actual fights that lasted more than a minute and good amount of punches was exchanged and damage inflicted. I don’t count instances where I punched someone in the face once and it was over with. Today it’s down to 1-2 figths a year. And I’m not bragging about it, it’s just a fact and honestly I’d rather have not gotten into any of them. But the reality of being a man is that once in while you need to shut someone the fuck up and possibly break their face in the process.
This is how to minimize your chances of getting into a bar/street fight:
- Avoid venues where fighting is a normal occurrence. Don’t go to shady places full of riff raff, assuming of course that’s not your kind of crowd. The classier the place the less likely anything will happen. It doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen in a classier place. Last fight I got into was at a club with a $40 cover. Go figure. If you have to go through a metal detector and they pat you down and check in your mouth before you get in that’s a dead give-away that shit goes down in that place. Turn around and leave cause it’s not worth it.
- Do your best to diffuse the situation. If you can safely walk away then walk away. I’m not saying walk away with your tail between your legs. Walk away like someone who came out to have fun not fight drunk idiots. But don’t turn your back to the aggressor, just make your way out of the situation, out of the bar if you have to, but keep him (and his buddies) in your view. Some of them may jump you as soon as you turn your back to them. If there is a bouncer or staff close by alert them. Really the easiest way to win a bar fight is to avoid getting into one.
- Drink in moderation. 99% of the time your opponent is going to be drunk. When you’re sober(ish) you always have an upper hand against a drunk opponent, including presence of mind to avoid the fight.
- Get in better shape and learn some basics of fighting. When you look athletic and know you can throw a punch it’s going to be broadcast via your body language and people will be much less willing to mess with you.
Though rare there are situations where fighting is unavoidable. There are some jabronis that go out with explicit intention to get into a fight. Hell I was that jabroni when I was younger. You can’t help it. It’s not that you personally did anything to provoke them, their mind was already set on getting into a fight that night. You just happened to be the lucky chosen one.
This is how to win a bar fight
The only reason I am giving advice on this topic is because I’ve been in a bunch of bar fights. I am not formally trained in any martial arts. All of my knowledge comes from numerous street fights I got into growing up in the former Soviet Union.
Remember that street fighting and bar fighting is very different from fighting in the ring. There are people who write about street fighting and talk about bar fighting who’ve never been in an actual street/bar fight. Even those who train in martial arts and have only been fighting in a ring are not exactly qualified to give advice on this matter.
I’m going to share with you what I know and what I found to be effective throughout the years. Of course this is a rough and very simplified guide. Life is unpredictable and situations vary. This advice given based on the assumption that you’re NOT the aggressor. Another assumption is that you’re at least in decent physical shape. If you’re not in good physical shape you need to start working on that right away. Sign up for some boxing/wrestling classes at your local MMA gym.
- Bar fights start and end before you know it. Bar fights don’t last long. I’d say a couple of minutes tops.
- When someone is confronting you and they are close to you immediately make room between the two of you. Do not let your opponent be in your face. Make room slightly exceeding his arm’s reach, if in doubt an arm and a half length is enough.
- Next put both of your hands in front of you with palms open (as if pushing someone away) gesturing that you don’t want any trouble. Having your hands out in front of you allows you to block any surprises coming your way without appearing aggressive. Also if it comes to that witnesses will testify that you were trying to calm the situation down (that helped me a lot once after a particularly nasty fight).
- Take a quick look around to identify if your opponent has any friends. If you see his friends behind/around him and you have nobody to back you up your best move is to do everything possible to diffuse the situation. I don’t care how big or bad you think you are against multiple opponents your chances of getting hurt go way up. I’ve been in fights like that and it’s just not worth it. Also keep in mind that some of his buddies may be behind or around you so keep your eyes peeled.
- If possible try to have a bar counter or a wall behind your back if you’re facing multiple opponents. They will always try to get to you from the back.
- ALWAYS punch first. No exceptions. No mercy. The room you created between the two of you is where you draw the line. If he is stepping towards you he is getting within striking distance so you punch him first. Without any warning or talking. Punching in the nose or throat are the best spots to render your opponent useless anywhere from thirty seconds to a minute which is plenty enough for bouncers to get to the scene. Take it easy on the windpipe it’s so gentle it takes very little power to crush it. I’ve made a mistake of not following the rule of punching first once and paid for it with a busted face. I was in a nice club and I was dressed in nice clothes and frankly didn’t expect to get into a fight at a place like that. This drunk degenerate wanted to “go outside”. So I told him let’s go and started pushing him towards the exit with the intention to alert the first bouncer on my way. I let the guy out of my sight for a split second looking around for a bouncer. This was enough for him to turn around and punch me in the face. I made him pay for that punch but the damage was already done. Guess what, all of you are going to be kicked out of the venue so it doesn’t matter who threw the first punch.
- Head butt is an incredibly effective and very underused weapon. Use it if your opponent is in your face and there is no time to make room between you and him. Just plunge with your forehead into his nose and believe me he is done for the night. You’re not going to feel much of anything. You can deliver a series of blows like that if necessary. Almost nobody expects a head butt which gives you an advantage. Check out an example here.
- Do not EVER go “outside” to fight. No parking lots, no dark alleys, none of that bullshit. Ever. Period. That’s where you have the least control over the situation and that’s where people get seriously hurt.
- I would recommend against using anything other than your fists in a bar fight unless your opponent is much larger or you’re facing multiple opponents. Thing is beer bottles and chairs can inflict serious damage if you’re not careful.
- Always expect the worst. When altercation escalates expect to be punched (sucker punched) at any moment from any angle. If your opponent has friends expect them to jump you. Expect to be stomped on if you fall to the ground. Expect your opponent’s girlfriend to jump you.
- When bouncers break up the fight only stop fighting if your opponent is also being held by another bouncer. One time during the fight this bouncer grabs me from behind leaving me defenseless and allowing my opponent to get up and punch me in the 3 seconds that it took another bouncer to arrive and get a hold of that guy. It was my fault because I thought the fight was over when the bouncer showed up and I put my hands down.
- After the fight is broken up you’re going to be kicked out of the establishment and although some bars make sure they separate fighting parties on the way out very often you end up outside next to each other again. Do not try to reignite the conflict. If your opponent is trying to get another go, ignore him but keep him in check. Best thing to do here is to get out of there before cops show up. If cops are already there then cooperate. Never admit any guilt.
Speaking of police as many fights as I’ve participated in I’ve never been arrested. Often cops were involved after the fact and most times they just tell you to go home. Even if they do anything they write a report, run your license and you’re good to go. This is what a cop in Philly once said to me: “Nobody is getting arrested for a bar fight in Philly, we won’t have enough jail space”.
Never had any problems with anyone wanting to press charges against me nor have I ever felt inclined to press charges. So long as you don’t stab or shoot someone you’re going to be ok. At least that’s my experience in big cities like Philadelphia and New York. It may be different elsewhere.
To sum up:
1. Get in shape
2. Punch first
3. Get out
I hope this is going to help some of you guys.