A lot of times in life we overthink things. The game has taught me one very important lesson – stop thinking and start doing. As a beginner when I saw a girl I liked I would start thinking and analyzing and stressing over what to say, how to say it and all that silliness. You know what I’m talking about. Usually I’d end up never approaching her or she would start talking to some other guy by the time I was done thinking.
All that thinking is an exercise in futility when it comes to game. Your brain is doing all that hard work in an attempt to minimize chances of failure. It does that out of fear because social interaction with a stranger is a very stressful situation. The truth is you don’t know what’s going to happen until you actually approach and talk to her. So your best bet is to just go and do it. This is why they have a “three second rule” for beginners. If you see a girl you like you have three seconds to approach her. It helps overcome that paralysis of analysis problem that many guys who get into pickup have. Very often in life all you need to do is jump in the water. Often all you need to start a conversation with a girl is to say “hi”. Often all you need to get what you want is simply ask for it.
I remember in the early days I was out at a bar somewhere in Philly and there was a ridiculously hot girl with this supremely bitchy don’t-even-dare-come-up-to-me look about her. Back then I loved approaching that type as a challenge. I opened her and she turned out to be the sweetest easiest going girl I’ve ever met. I told her what my initial impression of her was and she wasn’t surprised. She said she gets that all the time. Everyone thinks she is a total bitch but she is just a normal girl. I ended up dating her for a bit.
Anyway, how is this related to me getting a raise? Well, at the time I was at my job for a few years and haven’t gotten a raise beyond the minimum inflation thing they do every year. I was debating whether I should ask for a raise for a while and postponed acting on it dozens of times. Then I decided to approach it the same way I approach a really hot girl – just go and do it. What’s the worst that could possibly happen? I get fired from the job. Hell if they fire people over asking for a raise I don’t want to work for them anyway. So I asked for a meeting with a boss and prepared what I was going to say. I went to a meeting, explained why I think I deserve a raise and asked for a 50% raise. At the meeting he told me they don’t really have the budget for raising anyone’s salary, that it’s the wrong time of year blah blah blah. A week later he told me that they may be able to give me a smaller raise. Three weeks later they gave me exactly what I asked for.
Here is the thing though, initially I was only going to ask for 10-15% raise. But then I decided to grow some balls and ask for much more and see what happens. I thought if I asked for a lot I stand a better chance of getting what I initially was hoping for. I got rewarded for being bold. I didn’t tell them I was going to leave if they don’t give me a raise. I’m not really indispensable at what I do. I simply explained why I thought I should be paid more based on what my responsibilities were. And I really doubt that was a deciding factor. I think what did it was the fact that I simply had balls to ask for that big of a raise. That’s it.
There are numerous books and guides written on how to get a raise, how to negotiate a raise, various strategies and techniques etc. All that is drivel just like most guides and books on game. In my experience 80% of the time all you need is a pair of balls. You like that girl? Grow a pair and go talk to her. You want that pay raise? Grow a pair and go ask for it. It’s that simple.
So if you think you deserve a raise at your job just go and ask for it. And ask for much more than you think you should get. Realistically the worst that could happen is they say “no”. That’s nothing. If you’ve done pickup regularly for at least a few months you shouldn’t be fazed by hearing “no”. You shouldn’t be fazed by rejection. If anything it should make you try even harder.
Go get that raise!