In the few years that I’ve been doing pickup, I’ve seen a number of guys get into it and quit in a couple of months. A lot of them seemed very dedicated too. Most claimed they were in it to win it. But sooner or later for one reason or another you stop hearing from them, they stop going out, they quit. Here is a few reasons why guys quit pickup prematurely.
1. Not willing to put in the work
When guys first get into pickup they don’t seem to realize that pickup is a lot of work. Just like with any other activity you need to invest time and effort to get good at it. The more time and effort you invest the better you get. As we know most people don’t like hard work. Most people are looking for a magic pill. Most people want immediate results. We live in a culture of instant gratification. When guys get into pickup they think that they are going to learn a couple of tricks and magically start sleeping with every girl that comes their way. Wrong. Pickup is not magic. There is nothing you can learn in pickup that can make random hot women throw themselves at you. You need to go out all the time. You need to approach A LOT of women. Of course once you get to a certain level of expertise and build a solid social circle that supplies attractive women you can take it easy but it takes years to get to that level unless you’re rich and famous in which case you wouldn’t be interested in pickup to begin with.
2. Can’t take rejection
If you’re overly sensitive and can’t take rejection then you’re not made for pickup. Again guys think they watch a couple of Youtube videos and read a few forum posts and think they are going to get mad pussy. Then they go out and get rejected, a lot! Girls don’t want to talk to them, girls make excuses to stop interacting with them, girls just tell them to fuck off. Naturally they get discouraged. What they don’t realize is that rejection is an integral part of the game. There is no pickup without rejection. If you are serious about pickup you will have to learn to deal with rejection. For an average guy rejection is very hard to swallow. It is hard for any person to swallow regardless of sex. We are wired to react that way. Rejection was meant to be painful so that you’d do anything to avoid getting rejected. One way to avoid getting rejected is not to approach at all which is what 99.99% of guys do. You need to get used to the idea that you’re going to be rejected no matter how good you are. The best pickup guys out there get rejected all the time. You can’t be a good boxer and not get punched on the head multiple times in a fight. You can strive to avoid being hit but if you are fighting to win you’re still going to get punched no matter what you do. It’s just the way boxing is. Similarly you need to accept rejection as part of the game of pickup and learn to deal with this pain in order to grow as a pickup artist. You need to make that pain your ally. You need to learn to draw energy from the pain of rejection to keep you going.
3. No clear purpose for pickup
Many guys don’t know why they got into pickup, they never formulate what they are trying to achieve. If you go into pickup without a clear understanding of your purpose you can’t track your progress and thus be tempted to quit. What are you trying to get out of pickup? Are you trying to find a girlfriend? Date someone out of your social circle? Date a more attractive woman? Lose your virginity? Have multiple women in your life? You need to decide what exactly do you want because if you don’t then chances are you aren’t going to get it. Now, say your goal was to lose virginity and you achieved it, then you set a new goal of getting a girlfriend and so on. But you can’t just go out there and wander aimlessly with a vague purpose of “meeting hot women”. You are likely to get discouraged and quit.
4. Unrealistic expectations of pickup
Dude, pickup or not, you won’t be able to get every woman you desire because nobody can, not even Brad Pitt (insert your own hot male celebrity name), nobody, period. If that’s why you got into pickup you’re in for a rude awakening. You could be the most handsome guy in the world but if you’re not the girl’s type (or for any other reason that is out of your control) she will not respond to you positively. It’s that simple. At the end of the day pickup is a numbers game, it always has been, it always will be. The more women you approach the higher are your chances of meeting someone who will reciprocate. Anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something. Yes you can improve your game, you can improve your looks, your style, your income, your status, your social circle, your physical shape, your whatever and thus improve your chances but it’s still a numbers game. For beginners it may be successful with one out of a hundred (1/100) women, for a top level guy it maybe eight out of a hundred (8/100). But that’s about it, there is no man on this planet getting 100 out of 100 women he approaches, just like there is no baseball player batting 100/100, no basketball player making 100/100 shots, no quarterback completing 100/100 passes etc. And if you know someone who claims they lay every girl they meet (and we all know someone like that) they are filthy liars.
5. Have no BALLS
If you have no balls pickup is not for you. You need balls to come out there and hit on the most beautiful girl at the bar that no other guy even dares to come up to. You need balls to hit on the girl you like that has five big alpha dudes standing guard around her. You need balls to be able to laugh in the face of a girl telling you to go fuck yourself. You need balls to go out and get through a night when you bomb every single set. You need balls to dare to do things that were unthinkable to you even the day before. You need balls to get good at pickup.
6. No wingman
None of your friends know anything about pickup and/or not supportive of it. Your only wing man moved out of town and now you have to do it all by yourself. And it’s really hard, especially if you do it at night. But as with most things it’s not as hard as it seems. Force yourself to go out alone a few times and you get used to it pretty fast. Nobody really gives a crap if you’re at a bar by yourself or meeting up with someone else later. And even if they do why would you care what they think anyway. You are the one who instead of getting drunk is actually doing something productive while out. At the same time day game is a lot easier to run on your own. Advantages of going out by yourself is that you don’t have to have the same schedule as your wingman or wait for him when he is late. You go and do it on your own, like a boss.
7. Too much theory and too little practice
The way a lot of guys start in pickup, including myself, is by reading too much pickup theory before they even step out of the house. After they’ve read all the books and all the forums they finally go out and none of what they learned seems to work. They get discouraged, disappointed and quit. First of all, they filled their head with way too much information that is absolutely unnecessary. Pickup is simple. There is very little theory you need to know to get started. In fact all you need to start in pickup is to be able to say “Hi” to a woman and then take it from there. Now once you get some field experience you may want to learn a little theory if you feel like you are getting stuck but it’s totally optional. Instead all you see are guys with limited real life experience with women learning “advanced” pickup material and unable to implement it. Basically it’s like learning all the techniques and styles of swimming before ever stepping in the water. What good does all that information do when you can’t even float? It’s counter productive for people who have very little experience with women to load up on pickup theory. All they need to do is to start talking to women and everyone knows how to talk to a woman unless they were raised by wolves. If you ever talked to your mother you know how to talk to women. Now go out and practice.
8. Can’t afford boot camp to get started/get better
There are guys who feel that the only way to get started/get better is to take a boot camp with one of the numerous pickup companies out there. Not true. The only way to get started is to get off your ass and go out in the world and approach women. The only way to get better is to keep trying until it works. Companies selling boot camps take your money in exchange for someone to take you out and push you towards women and make you talk to them. That is in a gist what they do at a boot camp. Easier and cheaper way is to give your buddy 20 bucks and tell him he can keep it if you don’t go up to the girl you point out.
9. Not willing to change
Guys think that buying a couple of stylish shirts will make them more attractive to women. That’s a start but chances are you need to change more than just your wardrobe. Think about it this way, it’s one thing to initiate conversation with a woman and a whole other thing to make her feel attracted to you. And what women are attracted to? Well, it’s a complicated question but it doesn’t have to be. You don’t need to try to please every woman you meet because it’s impossible anyway. There are however general traits that majority of people, male and female, find attractive. Among them things like being in good physical shape, dressing well, being well groomed, having manners, having interesting hobbies (or ability to present your hobbies as interesting), having a social circle, having a positive outlook on life, having a sense of humor, having high social status, having an exciting occupation or profession (or ability to present one as such) etc. For a lot of guys it means reinventing their life and very few are willing to go through that process. It’s a lot easier to just stay who you are, remain within your comfort zone and keep getting the same results with women over and over.
10. Live in a small town
Some of you may live in a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere, where everyone knows everyone. You went to all three bars in your town and hit on every eligible single girl in the 10 mile radius and your options are exhausted. Well, that’s not the reason to give up. Drive somewhere else. There must be a bigger town or a few smaller ones within driving distance where you can practice. And if there are none consider moving out of that hole. Plenty of guys from small towns faced this dilemma and many moved out to greener pastures.